“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” ~ Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

Have you ever had the experience of taking an exotic trip, then coming home and everything in your everyday life looked so much different? Sometimes it feels disappointing to come back to the same old, but other times it makes you appreciate your life even more.

A secondment serves a similar purpose. It’s a bit like taking a working holiday from your regular place of work, in order to develop your skills and build bridges with a new group of people.

Although it’s mostly a good thing, a secondment does pose some challenges. Let’s look into some examples of secondments and their advantages and disadvantages.

The Basics of Secondments

First, let’s cover the who, what, how and why of secondments.

• What is a Secondment?

  A secondment is when a professional steps out of his or her regular job, and works in another setting for a period of time. The aim is to broaden connections, serve a need, or gain experience.

  There are various types of secondments. Some take place within the same organization. Working in different departments helps to expand a skill set, deepen connections, and increase an individual’s visibility within the workplace.

  At other times, someone with a particular expertise is recruited by another organization, usually for a short period of time. It’s sort of like contract work, in this sense.

  And a final type of secondment is where someone works for a company client, or an organization they interact with on a regular basis. This serves to tighten the connection, and creates more fluidity in the business relationship.

• How Long Do Secondments Last?

  Secondments can be either full time or part time, and they last from a couple of weeks to a couple of years.

• Who Takes Secondments?

  Secondments oftentimes are about leveling up a career. Usually someone who’s five to ten years into a career, and looking to broaden their experience and build social capital seeks out a secondment.

• What is the Purpose of a Secondment?

  A primary purpose of the secondment is developing soft skills. While an individual may already be highly skilled in his or her particular field, the secondment provides the opportunity to build rapport with a wider community. By mixing and mingling with others, they learn how to persuade, communicate and negotiate.

  The secondment also allows an employee to use the same skills in a different context. By creating this depth, they return to their regular job more well-rounded and proficient.

  From an organization’s point of view, a secondment is about developing an employee base that is well-versed in all areas of the company, and so suited for promotion and leadership positions. It’s closely linked to talent and succession planning.

  Secondments also increase fluidity between companies who do business together. Having a personal connection to a vendor or client increases trust and relatability. It also creates familiarity with the other organization’s processes and protocol, which helps to ease administrative backlog.

  As you can see, a secondment serves both the individual and the organization. It tightens bonds between organizations, and strengthens an employee’s skill set.

Examples of Secondments

Secondments look a little different depending on their objective. Let’s look at a few examples.

• Inter-Company Secondment

  In a large company, it’s easy for departments to behave like individual fiefdoms, working in isolation from one another. Secondments help to bridge these communication gaps. Employees understand the goings-on in various parts of the company, and how everything fits together.

  For example, someone working in human resources might spend a year working within three or four different departments, assisting with projects and daily tasks. This experience gives them on-hands knowledge of each department, and the responsibilities of various roles. After returning to their regular job, this knowledge helps with onboarding and recruitment efforts.

• Expertise Recruitment

  Sometimes, particularly during a time of crisis or conflict, a government agency may require expertise it doesn’t have on hand, such as a statistician or scientist. In these instances, they may go to the local university and tap a professor on the shoulders to see if he or she might lend a hand for a while.

  Or, when two large companies merge, oftentimes they are deluged with legal and administrative work. Rather than hire someone from a separate organization, it makes more sense to bring the expert into the company, and allow them to assist with the work overload.

• Vendor or Client Secondment

  When two companies work closely together, they often find secondments to be mutually beneficial. It develops a tight bond between the two organizations. They have a first-hand understanding of the client’s needs and preferences. These secondments may be planned, or else they come about organically when a position opens up. They may be open-ended, lasting for several years.

  In sum, secondments look a bit different depending on the scenario. Usually, it’s about developing an individual’s skill set. At other times, however, it’s more about filling a critical need within an organization for a period of time.

Advantages of Secondments

Usually, someone participating in a secondment is thrown into a completely new environment. It’s a real adventure, in this sense. They probably have strong skills, but need to start flexing new ones right away. It demands alacrity, and an eagerness to learn.

The secondment provides clear advantages to everyone involved. Let’s go over some of these, starting with the employee and then moving on to the organization.

Benefits to the Employee

• Empathize With Coworkers

  When you do a secondment within your own organization, you’re able to see what goes on in other departments, and what your coworkers do on a daily basis. You understand the struggles and challenges of their role, and it creates understanding.

• Develop Business Acumen

  It’s easy to get pigeonholed into your position and department. A secondment broadens your perspective, and you see the organization as a whole. It’s easier to understand what drives revenue within the company, and which operations are critical to the organization’s success.

• Understand Your Weaknesses

  In career planning, knowing what you can’t do is just as important as knowing where you excel. A secondment allows you to dip your hand into a variety of settings for a short time, and experiment with various projects and group dynamics. This quick sampling gives a strong indication of areas you’d just as soon not grow into.

• Meet Great People

  A secondment is a real social adventure. You double your work contacts, and get to know a lot of people personally and professionally. You’ll have twice the Christmas parties to go to, and multiple appointments for after-hours drinks.

• Experience Different Company Cultures

  Every organization has its own unwritten rules around teamwork, appreciation, and leadership, and operates from a different set of core values. A secondment allows you to experience another company culture, first-hand. It’s a bit like going into another country, in this sense, and watching how they do things. You may be surprised by what you discover!

• Flex Underused Skills

  When you’ve been in the same role for a long time, you tend to use the same set of skills day after day, week after week. A secondment puts you into a different context, so you may find yourself presented with opportunities not available in your regular job. Maybe you’ll be leading a team or presenting at a meeting.

• Develop Skills You Never Had

  When you begin a secondment, you’re placed in a completely new environment. You may find yourself doing things you never thought yourself capable of, such as assisting in the creation of financial statements, speaking with the press, or learning to use a new software system.

• Understand the Customer

  For any service organization, working in a secondment provides insight into who the customer is and what they’re looking for. You understand how and why they use the products and they become real people rather than data or statistics.

• Take a Super Adventure!

  A secondment is a bit like traveling. You get to see some of everything, the weird and the wonderful. And just like a box of chocolates, you don’t have any idea what you’re going to get.

Benefits to the Organization

In addition to benefiting the participant, a secondment creates value for the organizations they move in and out of.

• Retain Employees

  In a time when recruiting and retaining top talent is more difficult than ever, a secondment develops loyalty to an organization, and serves as a strong retention technique. People want to stick around in an organization when they’re fully vested in the entire operation, and have strong ties throughout.

• Create Strong Cohesion

  When someone completes a secondment, they know people at every level and within several departments of the organization. This creates a rich collaborative environment. Rather than working in isolation, departments come to trust each other.

• Complete Work Efficiently

  When an organization recruits an expert, it allows them to get through a huge backlog of work quickly. A company may be deluged with clerical or legal work, and the added hand allows them to resolve issues quickly, and to receive the expert services at a lower cost than if they hired out.

  As you can see, secondments provide tremendous value to both the organization and the individual. It’s no wonder they’re widely incorporated into company planning.

Disadvantages of Secondments

Nothing this side of Eden is entirely perfect, however. Although secondments have definitive advantages, they have their downsides as well.

• Complete Twice the Administrative Work

  Working in a secondment and keeping your regular job increases your litany of super-boring tasks. You fill out twice the timesheets, respond to twice the emails, and organize papers at two separate desks. Unless you’re an organizational expert, this probably isn’t your cup of tea.

• Attend Double the Meetings

  If you already feel like you attend plenty of meetings, then a secondment only compounds this sensation. You’ll have two weekly staff meetings, and double the all-hands quarterly meeting. Between juggling all these meetings, it may be a challenge actually finding time to work!

• Lack of Belonging

  Although a secondment is an adventure, it does displace you for a time. You’re no longer exactly in our old role (someone may be hired to replace you), yet not in the new position either. This can leave someone feeling unsettled, kind of like they’re floating in their career, particularly when it lasts for one or two years.

• Miss Out on Changes in the Home Office

  Change is constant, and all sorts of things are bound to change in your home office while working in a secondment. Maybe your boss leaves, your favorite coworkers move on, and new people come on board. Systems may change, too. You might feel that you’re returning to a whole new office at the end of the secondment.

• Steep Learning Curve

  Depending on the nature of your secondment, you may get thrown into a busy situation and be forced to catch up to speed very quickly. The pressure of learning new processes, a new software system, and new skills all at the same time may almost feel like too much.

Guidelines for Secondments

Secondments offer tremendous potential to meet people, develop new skills and build social capital. But as with so many things in life, you only get out of it what you put in. Making the most of a secondment entails some strategy. Here are some things to keep in mind.

• Set Clear Expectations

  Before starting a secondment, carefully determine what you want to get out of it. What part does it play in your overall career? Communicate your objectives to everyone involved, in order to be sure that you’re all on the same page. Don’t assume they have the same objectives you do.

• Clarify Your Role With the Home Office

  A secondment is like straddling between two platforms. You’re invested in the new opportunity, while continuing to maintain ties with your job. Be sure you understand your obligations to your old role, and how you’ll maintain contact with the office. Additionally, discuss the plan for return: when it will take place, and if you’ll return to the same role and responsibilities.

• Have a Written Agreement

  Be sure to write out the terms of the secondment, including details such as which employer covers benefits, and what sort of paid leave you’re allowed.

  In sum, it’s necessary to be proactive about the secondment, and to go into it with a plan. At the same time, it is a great adventure, so be open and let the experience take you.

In most workplaces, disagreeing with your superior always comes with an element of risk or fear. More importantly, doing it in a constructive and non-condescending way can be pretty complicated. However, despite these challenges, learning to stand your ground and disagree in a respectful manner is an extremely valuable asset we should all master.

In fact, disagreeing with your boss does not by default undermine your job; it could actually put you on the fast track to professional success. Constructive disagreement benefits managers by creating a better environment for problem-solving and ideation, as well as promoting the personal growth of everyone in the team.

Approaching dissent constructively

The way you’ll approach disagreeing with your boss will pretty much revolve around the corporate culture of the organization you’re part of. Ideally, your workplace should be an open environment, where everyone has the freedom to communicate their disagreements. However, that’s not always the case.

Below are a few things to keep in mind when planning how to communicate dissent.

Constructive disagreement builds on trust

Managers aren’t right all the time—and that’s okay—that’s not what they’re paid for. A manager’s purpose is to maximize the efficiency of a team or organization and contribute to achieving its business goals. Like all of us, they are entitled to making mistakes once in a while. But when it comes to correcting their errors, things can get kind of tricky.

Strong employee-employer relations are built on trust. Without this essential element, convincing your manager that your opinion is better than theirs can be pretty complicated.

In a work setting, earning a manager’s trust typically revolves around doing your job well and going the extra mile when you can.

Is this fair? Probably not. Of course, respecting deadlines and having consistent performance does not by default mean that you’re right whenever you disagree with your boss. However, being responsible about work allows you to demonstrate that you care about the organization and that you have its best interests in mind.

Timing is crucial

Often, expressing your disagreement isn’t just about what you say but also when and where you say it. Therefore, if you’d like to suggest to your manager that they might be wrong in a decision they’ve recently made, it’s important to think the timing through very carefully.

Hierarchies in organizations are necessary to establish a sense of internal control and provide everyone with clarity in regards to the chain of command. There is a very specific power dynamic between a manager and her employees. Publicly criticizing the decisions of a superior can be treated as a threat to the existing hierarchy, which is the opposite of constructive.

More importantly, our brains are incredibly susceptible to negative feedback. Most of us will instinctively feel intimidated, defensive, shocked, and embarrassed. None of these emotions is a good foundation for building a fruitful, long-lasting professional relationship.

Even if the criticism is warranted, it’s important to keep in mind that evolution has made our brains hardwired to react very sharply to negative feedback. We’re really good at learning from bad experiences and pretty bad at learning from the good. Therefore, consider scheduling a private meeting to point out the things you disagree with.

However, it’s important to underline that writing an email won’t yield the same results as scheduling a meeting. Research suggests that when presented with written arguments, people are typically more dismissive of them compared to in-person interactions.

Verbal communication is a more empathetic communication medium. It’s much easier to relate to other people’s experiences when they’re presented to us in person. Verbal interactions are much more humanizing compared to written ones.

However, don’t hesitate to follow up an in-person meeting with a roundup email if you find that documenting it is important.

Pick your fights

Expressing your disagreement with your manager often comes with a certain element of risk and reward. Sometimes it’s worth pointing out that they made a mistake because it will prevent the company from losing money or customers. There are, on the other hand, disagreements that are all risk and no reward, which brings us to our next point—not all arguments are meant to be won and not all concerns are meant to be voiced.

More importantly, you’ll probably lose some arguments that were well worth the risk. If that happens, it’s absolutely essential to accept your defeat with grace. Being sour about a decision that wasn’t in your favor will only damage your relationship both in the short and long run.

It’s also a good idea to show that you support your manager’s decision after your idea was turned down. This is suggestive of psychological maturity and presents you as a team player—both critical qualities in business and for a person aiming to themselves a manager one day.

Listen and augment

In a work setting, many disagreements aren’t about the goals that a business should pursue but rather the means of achieving them. An essential part of a constructive and civil disagreement is reminding the other party that you’re on their side and that you’re trying to complement their solution rather than discredit it.

In order to do so, it’s important to start the conversation by stating the things you agree with and why you agree with them. Instead of pointing out the flaws in their reasoning, mention some of the perspectives that they failed to take into account. This is a much softer and constructive form of dissent.

This approach is very effective because you aren’t actually disagreeing with your manager. Instead, you’re broadening their viewpoint, allowing them to make sounder and more informed decisions.

Here’s an example of how this approach can be put into practice: “I agree, we definitely need to invest more into the usability testing of our product, given the low engagement rates. But we’re also facing the risk of hitting diminishing returns on our testing. What if we allocated more money to user research?”

Package dissent with solutions

Often, simply disagreeing with someone might not be enough. People, especially in business settings, are looking for solutions—and complementing your dissent with a way to address the problem at hand better might be received in a much more agreeable manner. Approaching disagreements this way will accentuate your critical thinking and problem-solving skills, making it harder to bluntly dismiss your disagreement.

More importantly, thinking about solutions beforehand allows you to empathize with your manager and understand their point of view, especially if you’re not in a decision-maker position. In many cases, thinking from a manager’s standpoint can help you understand their thought process better, thus eliminating the need to disagree with them

Obtain an invitation

While suggesting that a manager’s decision might be flawed in one way or another, it’s essential to understand whether there’s actual room for dissenting opinions around the decisions that have already been made, more so when these decisions come from C-suite management. So before you choose to take the risk of openly disagreeing with your supervisor, make sure to obtain an invitation to do so.

This invitation may not be explicit, which is why it’s best to carefully analyze their tone and what they say to gauge whether your opinion is welcome at all.
If you strongly disagree on a subject matter and you haven’t really received anything that resembles an invitation, consider asking them for it. Something along the lines of “Are you willing to hear a different opinion on this?” should do the trick. This will allow your manager to provide you with a clear answer regarding their openness to dissent on the subject at hand.

Why you should disagree more

It’s critical to remember that disagreeing with people is an inevitable and absolutely healthy part of our social and professional lives—we can’t really agree on everything all the time. Unfortunately, dissent is kind of taboo in business settings, and disagreements come with a lot of risk-taking. This risk can be managed effectively by being calculated, constructive, and polite while you’re doing it.

When done correctly, disagreements can come with a wide array of professional benefits. Here are some of them.

Opportunities to learn and grow

While disagreements can often be uncomfortable and nerve-wracking, it’s an excellent opportunity for growth. They allow us to learn more by listening and incorporating valuable feedback from peers and superiors, enabling us to evolve as professionals.

Businesses will also benefit from a culture that favors open communication, the free exchange of ideas, and constructive disagreement because these factors provide the necessary grounds for innovative and diverse ideas.
When communication is a one-way street, this benefits no one but the managers’ egos.

Improved relationships

We tend to believe that disagreements, by default, harm relationships at work—that’s only true. Destructive conflict will probably do that, yet constructive ones will most likely strengthen the bond you have with a colleague.

Working through a conflict is a complicated task, and it takes two to do that. When both parties manage to settle an argument, they will feel closer to them and get a better understanding of each other.

This may sound easy to do, but we need to bear in mind that most of us are slightly biased when we’re in the middle of a polarizing conversation. Ironically, what in theory seems to be the easiest way to avoid disagreements at work also happens to be the most challenging in practice—listen to them carefully and intently. If you’re looking to go the extra mile—consider explicitly stating that you’re hearing them.

Higher job satisfaction

Having the freedom to constructively disagree with peers and superiors is an essential factor in a person’s happiness at work and their satisfaction with their accomplishments.

Instead of constantly worrying about the repercussions of disagreeing with someone, people who learn to dissent constructively can simply enjoy being transparent and honest about their professional standpoints.

None of us likes to be unheard or dismissed at work—to have our views undermined and brushed off. Unfortunately, that’s the case for lots of people in the modern workplace. On the bright side, changing the way your colleagues treat you isn’t really that complicated—a little assertiveness will definitely improve things.

Learning to stand up for yourself and be more assertive are essential skills that will help you become more confident, which, as a result, will fast-track you for promotion and greater self-esteem.

In this blog post, we’ll explore what assertiveness is, why it’s useful, and what you should do to become a more determined worker.

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

What does it mean to be assertive?

Fundamentally, being assertive means that you’re prepared to stand up for the things you consider right while also being calm, composed, and polite.

Unfortunately, not all of us are born or raised to be assertive, but the good part is that this is a trainable skill—and a very important one, too, especially at work.

The function of assertiveness is to defend your boundaries and have control over how others interact with you.

Imagine being called out for a mistake you’ve made in a meeting—it’s definitely something neither of us would like to experience. Being assertive isn’t about denying that you’ve made a mistake or calling the person that called you out a jerk for doing so. The main idea here is to privately and politely ask them to raise issues with you in person instead of penalizing you in front of a large group of people.

Assertiveness ≠ being a jerk

Finding the middle ground between assertiveness and aggression can be demanding at first. If you happen to be a person that isn’t as confident when it comes to standing your ground, it may take a while till you find the right balance—and that’s totally okay. Mindfulness is key here.

Actually, let’s explore the difference between aggression and assertiveness.

• Assertiveness is all about your rights and the rights of others. The point here is to be straightforward and honest about the things you want while also taking into account the rights and needs of the people that surround you. An assertive person aims to communicate their preferences in a firm and respectful manner.
• Being aggressive is about being “right” and disregarding the needs and feelings of the people around you. It has little to do with expressing your preferences. Instead, the focus is on getting people to do what you want.

Picture this: Your boss approaches you at the end of your workday before you go on vacation. They give you an urgent task and tell you that it should be delivered ASAP. You’re in a situation where you can be passive, aggressive, or assertive.

Clearly, this is a situation where you’re forced to do something at an inappropriate time with pretty much no regard for your comfort. You could either choose to accept the assignment despite it interfering with your plans or politely let them know that the task at hand will be delivered once you’re back from your vacation. This way, you acknowledge the importance of the assignment, but on your own terms.

The value of assertiveness

Aside from providing you with more control over your life at work and outside of it, assertiveness also makes a person generally more confident. Think of it this way—an assertive person is typically prepared to handle any conflict that comes their way at work.

As good as that may seem, the path to becoming more assertive doesn’t necessarily start at the things that a person needs to learn. Instead, it’s the things that they have to unlearn.

Below, you’ll find a list of obstacles that prevent people from being assertive at work:

• Not knowing what you really want.
• Lacking clarity in terms of your emotions and mistaking genuine disagreement for anger or aggression.
• You feel like your needs aren’t that important.
• You strive to be liked by everyone at all costs.
• You get flustered in uncomfortable situations.
• You feel like your skillset is inferior to your peers’.
• You’ve been criticized way too much in the past.
• You’re afraid that you’ll push people away by disagreeing with them.
• You suffer from impostor syndrome.
• You’re scared of being challenged.
• You’re afraid that the person that you disagree with will retaliate.

Take a look at some of the blockers above and identify whether one of some of them might be true for you. The path to assertiveness starts with being aware of obstacles you’re facing on a daily basis and will allow you to better differentiate between assertiveness and aggressiveness.

By gradually becoming more confident and aware of your wants and needs you’ll be able to:

• Experience an increase in self-esteem and self-respect.
• Tackle conflicts with more confidence.
• Satisfy your needs without disregarding the needs of others.
• Make better and quicker decisions.
• Become a better mediator and negotiator.
• Develop leadership skills.

Learning to be assertive in the workplace will definitely benefit your interactions outside work. Many of us find saying “no” extremely complicated to people—and unfortunately, the so-called “yes syndrome” harms our colleagues along with ourselves. This is why it’s critical to learn to refuse people’s requests and accept that saying “no” isn’t a sign of weakness.

Consequently, failing to learn to be assertive can lead to decreased productivity, harmed relationships, and increased chance of burning out.

A path to assertive behavior

What can assertive behavior look like in the workplace? Let’s explore five examples so that you can learn how to be assertive at work.

1. Be honest

An essential component of assertive behavior is honesty. Being able to communicate how you feel in a straightforward manner in a respectful way is the first step towards confidence in the workplace.

Imagine that the company you work in has rolled out a new set of rules or requirements that you strongly disagree with. As a member of the company’s workforce, you’re entitled to let them know that you have reservations regarding the changes they’re about to roll out.

It’s important to pack your dissent with strong arguments in order for it to be received constructively. Not only will this help you communicate how you feel about the issue at hand, but it will also emphasize your critical thinking and problem-solving skills, which will, as a result, make it more complicated to simply dismiss your standpoint on the matter.

2. Gaze confidently

Eye contact is mysterious—it has a very powerful effect on humans. Typically, eye contact is a display of confidence. On the other hand, avoiding it suggests that you’re looking to avoid confrontation, which can invite some people to take advantage of that.

Looking people in the eye is also very useful because it triggers a heightened sense of self-consciousness in them—they immediately become more aware of the situation they’re in, as well as understand how their interlocutors feel.

Research has shown this by requesting that the participants of the study describe their reactions to a variety of images, both pleasant and unpleasant. The interesting part of the research design is that some of the images were preceded by pictures of people, some that make direct eye contact, others looking away. Researchers found that people typically have a stronger bodily response to images when they’re subjected to another person’s gaze.

Therefore, it’s safe to say that when people make eye contact, both parties experience a heightened sense of awareness of both their feelings and the situation. Politely rejecting someone’s request while also looking them in the eye will help you communicate your feelings more effectively.

3. Take personal responsibility

Assertiveness allows us to establish boundaries and communicate our preferences and feelings. However, there’s another side to this coin—taking responsibility when you make mistakes.

Sometimes, when we choose to stand our ground, we read the situation incorrectly, and we make choices that weren’t properly calculated, and that’s totally fine. To err is human. However, it’s critical in such situations to acknowledge your mistakes. Holding others accountable means that we should hold ourselves accountable as well.

4. Get everyone to agree

As we mentioned above, assertiveness isn’t just about being right or winning in a particular situation. Instead, it’s a behavior that helps you underline your wants and needs and find an amicable solution to a problem. Therefore, whenever you choose to stand your ground on a certain topic, make sure that the people involved agree with your decision because your choice affects them as well.

5. Think beyond yourself

Being assertive doesn’t mean that you should also be self-centered. Making confident decisions about what you think is better means that you have to balance what you think is good for yourself and the collective that you’re a part of.

In order to become an assertive person, you should take pride in what you do, but also what your coworkers do as a team.

A practical guide to assertiveness

Now that we’ve explored some of the things that will help us become more assertive, it’s time to take a closer look at some practical steps we can take to stand our ground in a confident and convincing manner.

Express how you feel

It’s complicated to get your point across if you don’t explain how certain situations make you feel. Let’s go back to our previous example where your boss asks you to deliver a huge task hours before you leave on vacation. Imagine standing your ground in this situation without telling them how this decision affects your quality of life—that wouldn’t be really productive.

Of course, you can say something along the lines of: “This is insane, I can’t do this now,” or, “Do you seriously expect me to do this,” but it’s safe to say that it wouldn’t take you anywhere and would only harm your relationship with your manager.

Instead, consider saying: “I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle this amount of work in such a short time. But I’ll make sure to have it done when I’m back.” Doing so in a poised and confident manner will most likely allow your boss to empathize with your situation by understanding your perspective.

Using “I” statements is also very useful when trying to avoid putting the blame on someone else. Assertive people don’t point fingers. They communicate their point of view.

Think of a situation where a colleague of yours uses something that belongs to you without your consent, like a coffee mug, for instance. Instead of saying: “Have you ever considered buying your own coffee mug,” tell them how you feel about it—something along the lines of: “I feel really uncomfortable that you’re using my cup.”

Let your body speak

Body language is an invaluable tool in communication. It helps people decode what the other person is saying with a greater degree of confidence. Similarly, it enables us to interpret other people’s moods and feelings.

To be assertive, we need to make use of body language to accentuate our confidence. Here are a few simple tips to help you get your point across:

• A confident posture starts with your feet—plant them in an open, wide stance.
• Keep your chin and head up.
• If you’re standing, stand straight.
• Keep your hands out of your pocket.
• Maintain eye contact.

Saying “no” is an immutable right

It can be hard to say “no.” We often associate it with disappointing people, making them uncomfortable and unhappy, but that’s not necessarily true. The crucial part is how you deliver it—and sometimes, being straightforward is the way to go.

Imagine being asked to come in on a Saturday without being paid extra. The briefer and the more honest you are, the more confident the message is going to be. Instead of saying: “I’m not sure I’ll be able to,” consider saying: “No. I really don’t think that’s fair.”

Practice makes perfect

Many of us know what it means to be assertive. It’s not like everyone’s been hiding it from us our entire lives. Not everyone is confident enough by default. On the bright side, it’s a skill you can learn pretty quickly.

Practice assertive behavior alone in front of the mirror or with a friend. This will allow you to quickly learn to be straightforward and honest in conversations.

Keep your emotions in check

At first, it might be complicated to find the right emotional balance when being assertive at work, and that’s to be expected. When we learn to behave in a new way, things might not go as smoothly as we might expect them to, but that’s a crucial part of the path.

During these interactions, it’s essential to keep in mind that these are “inter-actions,” meaning that there are two parties in this dialogue. Speak your mind, but also make sure you listen to the person you’re communicating with.

The best way to ensure that is to remain mindful of the conversation and not let feelings get the best of you. During complicated conversations, we can often experience a wide array of negative emotions like anger or annoyance—but rest assured, these are never productive. Whenever you feel frustrated, take a second to contemplate the fact that you’re frustrated, think about the most appropriate answer and then proceed with communicating it.

Assertiveness isn’t about control

We mentioned above that assertive behavior is, first and foremost, a means to communicate how you feel and make sure that your opinion is taken into account and respected. This, however, does not entail manipulating others.

Positive mental attitude

A very useful little trick to keep in mind when practicing assertive communication is sticking to positive sentences. Framing a sentence in a polite yet straightforward manner will prevent you from delving into aggression territory.

It’s absolutely vital to treat people with respect, even if they ask you to “come in on Saturday” without being paid for your extra hours. This will allow you to navigate complicated and unpleasant situations gracefully.

Start small

It’s always a good idea to practice assertive behavior in less risky situations and environments. Starting with your manager or CEO may not be the best call. However, you can always practice with people that are close to you, a significant other or a friend.

You also don’t have to stand your ground on important subjects, for instance choosing a place to have dinner or coffee is a good start.

The semantics of confidence

We discussed how we should communicate in an assertive manner. We’ve also touched on your posture and body language and how they help you appear assertive. However, we should also bear in mind that there are many words in our vocabularies that affect how the things we say are perceived.

For instance, think of the word “just.” We use it a lot, but it also injects an element of uncertainty into a person’s discourse. “I just thought that” or “I was just wondering” are both equally safe and polite expressions to use, but the word “just” make them appear a bit insecure—which is something we want to avoid during assertive communication because it may look like we’re looking for confirmation.

It’s also important to pay close attention to your tone when communicating assertively. Typically, people raise their intonation at the end of a question. However, people often do that with declarative sentences when they seek the approval of the people they’re interacting with.

Most of us have found ourselves in this odd situation where we strongly disagree with a colleague’s statement, but when it comes to speaking up—we just sit there. Giving your honest opinion and defending your boundaries at work isn’t exactly an easy thing to do.

Many people don’t like being in the spotlight of disagreement, yet all of us have to learn this skill to grow as a professional. The way you choose to communicate in the workplace is indicative of how your coworkers perceive you as an individual, colleague, manager, or leader.

Yet the lack of transparent communication isn’t necessarily the employees’ fault. Very often, a company’s corporate culture simply doesn’t provide for an environment where open communication is encouraged.

In this blog post, we’ll take a look at the reasons all of us should learn to speak up at work and why organizations should encourage their employees to speak freely.

Let’s dive right in, shall we?

The value of speaking up at work

Often, people think of speaking up as a high-risk, low-reward effort—you’re either right, and you get a pat on the back, or you’re wrong, and you end up looking like a fool. While many of us may feel this way, this is very far from true. Let’s take a look at why.

1. Wrong ideas are valuable, too

Speaking up is about delivering honest feedback about other people’s decisions or opinions, whether you’re pointing out an injustice that someone has committed or pointing out a perspective that someone may have missed.

Unfortunately, we’ve somehow been conditioned to think that being wrong is bad. Yes, often bad decisions can lead us to undesired outcomes, but there’s no such thing as a “bad idea”. Great businesses and products are built on effective ideation and an open mind. The key here is speaking up in a constructive manner.

Merely voicing your opinion can bring your team to a valuable and elegant solution to a pressing issue. Think of it this way: you’re a person that has been in a particular position or has been working in a specific industry for quite some time—you’re qualified to have an informed opinion.

Sometimes, it’s a good idea to take some more time before you communicate disagreement or criticism if you’re not entirely sure that you’re right. It’s also really important to carefully assess the situation and think things through. At the end of the day, you don’t want to be seen as a “loose cannon”.

2. It helps you grow

Actively participating in conversations and providing your team with constructive criticism creates a wide array of opportunities that we don’t anticipate. By showcasing your understanding of the industry, you create an image for yourself. Some of your valuable opinions can be shared with higher management, opening you up for growth and a new set of responsibilities.

3. Your opinion matters

Silence is consent. Often, undesirable or unjust things happen at work. You’re asked to come in on a Saturday without extra pay, upper management introduces a draconian new quota, your team leader makes a shortsighted decision that impacts your entire department—whatever it is, being silent just doesn’t make sense. If you don’t speak up, probably no one will.

Of course, it’s prudent to follow your workplace’s rules and protocols, but that does not mean that you have to actually agree with them.

If you disapprove of someone’s decision that influences you or the wellbeing of your colleagues—provide them with constructive criticism. Not saying anything, in this case, comes with a price as well. You might eventually start treating your job with resentment, and you’ll just end up bottling your emotions up, leading to professional dissatisfaction. Not speaking up can seriously harm our sense of self-worth. This can lead us to engaging in weird mental gymnastics to justify staying silent, which will slowly and methodically hinder our personal and professional growth.

Why don’t people speak up at work?

In 2018, the Institute of Business Ethics (IBE) published a report named “Ethics at Work” that explores the state of ethics in the modern workplace. The report features a section dedicated exclusively to speaking up (page 41). In it, IBE provides the most common reasons people choose not to speak up at work. Here they are:

• “I did not believe corrective action would be taken” — 28%
• “I felt like it could jeopardize my job“ — 27%
• “I felt it was none of my business” — 23%
• “I didn’t want to be seen as a troublemaker” — 20%
• “I felt I might alienate myself from colleagues” — 18%
• “I thought they already knew about it” — 14%
• “I didn’t think it was a serious issue at the time” — 12%
• “I did not know who to contact” —7%
• “I thought it was common practice” — 7%
• “I thought it would be raised by someone else” — 5%

Obviously, people are worried about the potential repercussions that speaking up may bring upon them. But should they?

The same report continues to provide data on employee satisfaction with the outcome of their raising an issue. On average, 51% of people were either very or fairly satisfied with the action taken by superiors or peers after they’ve communicated their concerns.

While 51% is nowhere near 100%, these are very, very good odds.

How do I start speaking up at work?

Becoming more open and forthcoming with your colleagues isn’t easy, but it’s definitely something you can do, especially if your approach is right.

1. Start by overcoming your fears

Before you start changing your behavior, it’s important to understand the reasons you have to change in the first place.

Breaking the silence and disagreeing with someone’s opinion isn’t easy—and it’s totally fine to feel this way. Most of us do. Think of it this way: you’re put in a situation where you have to choose between behaving in an agreeable manner or standing up against something that you consider to be incorrect or unjust.

Humans are social animals; the mere thought of challenging the status quo in our environment feels dangerous.

Furthermore, for many of us, this fear is aggravated by past experiences and social conditioning, making the need to fit in even stronger. Here are a few common reasons:

• Childhood trauma—many of us have experienced ridicule or abuse for speaking up. We might not realize it at first, but these events end up influencing our personalities more than we anticipate. As a result, when we’re in situations where we need to speak up, our brains are overwhelmed by a sense of danger, preventing us from taking action.
• Trauma during adulthood—unfortunately, we’re not immune to traumatizing events as adults. While grown-ups are typically more polite and mindful of others’ feelings, that doesn’t mean that we won’t ever be laughed at for being wrong. When this does happen, people will generally prefer to avoid potentially traumatizing experiences, even when confronted with blatant injustice.
• Gender inequality—it’s no secret that many cultures around the world tend to shame women for speaking up. These societal expectations are still very relevant in the West, and there’s lots of evidence to back this claim up.
• Fear of retaliation—disagreeing with your company decision-maker may result in financial or status-related repercussions. Criticizing the decisions of a narcissistic and fragile manager can be very unsettling, which is why many people choose to comply with their decisions.

2. Assess the situation

As we mentioned previously, there’s always risk and reward associated with speaking up. We don’t want to expose ourselves to too much risk to gain nothing of substance. Let’s explore a few situations when you should definitely consider communicating your honest opinion about things:

• When you witness injustice—it’s important to be mindful of the fact that there are lots of people who aren’t equipped to speak up. Whenever you see someone being treated poorly, raise the issue and bring it to everyone’s attention.
• When rules are broken—as an employee, you’re entitled to certain rights in the workplace, and sometimes they happen to be broken. Such situations need to be addressed immediately. Letting someone disobey corporate policies runs the risk of normalizing this kind of behavior.
• When everyone’s silent—often, people will disagree with a manager’s decision, but only in private. When nobody can muster enough courage to speak up against an unjust decision, it’s a good call to be the one who communicates the collective disapproval.
• When someone’s being punched down—if you occupy a managerial position or you happen to benefit from racial or social privilege, it’s important to stand up for those who don’t.
• When your heart tells you to—when it comes to speaking up, it’s essential to do what you think is right. If you’ve carefully assessed the risks, you’re equipped to make the right decision. Not following your gut can often leave you ruminating for weeks and months on end.

3. Plan your approach

While the things that make us want to speak up might trigger a powerful emotional response in us, it’s important to pause and think of how you’ll raise the concern.

Start by making a commitment. Assess whether what you want to say should be said. Then, think of how you should approach them and choose your words carefully.

The conversation you’re about to have is supposed to reinstate the boundaries that have been violated. Although you probably feel wronged, it’s important to be mindful of the fact that you have the power to upset the people you’ll be communicating with. While it may seem like something you want to do, or maybe even that they deserve it, speaking up is first and foremost about boundaries, not punitive justice. Therefore, it’s critical to think about what to say and how to say it so that the person involved changes their behavior, not feel resentment. Having a productive conversation is a priority.

Planning what you say is also very important because you might start overexplaining your point. Speaking up can sometimes stun people, which makes them go silent for a while. Make sure you don’t start filling the silence. Be brief, punchy and fair. That will help you get the point across.

4. Your job is not done just yet

You’ve done the hardest part, but it’s not over yet. It’s time to gracefully ride the consequences of your speaking up. Yes, it’s important to be prepared for them. Speaking the truth isn’t easy, neither for the person saying it nor the person having to hear it.

Also, bear in mind that you may go through a brief period of vulnerability right after you’ve had a complicated conversation, especially if you did it in front of other people. Stepping out of your comfort zone can come with a sense of discomfort and doubt. Don’t worry, you did great. You stood up for what is right.

Always consider seeing a personal coach or a therapist if you feel like the aftermath of the conversation has a significant toll on your wellbeing. The path to growth has never been easy—and that’s totally fine. Embrace it. While it may seem too complicated at times, it’s always worth the effort.